Put your own oxygen mask on first: A practical guide to self-care

Kerry Gardiner
Nov 20, 2024
4 min read

Updated: Jan 27

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to become so focused on work, responsibilities, and the needs of others that we forget to take care of ourselves. Yet, self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. Self-care involves more than just pampering yourself with a bubble bath or a spa day. It’s a holistic approach to nurturing your mind, body, and soul, ensuring that you’re well-equipped to handle life’s challenges and maintain a healthy balance.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve started prioritising myself, something that 10 years ago was a pipe dream I never thought would be a possibility. And no, not just in the “eat a salad and go for a walk” kind of way. I’ve discovered that self-care is about giving yourself permission to rest, to dream, to move and to focus on what makes you feel whole.

"Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others."

This isn’t just a flight protocol; it’s a profound life lesson. Just like the quote "You can't pour from an empty cup," it highlights the importance of prioritising your well-being so you can show up fully for others. At first, this might feel counterintuitive - or even selfish - but it’s anything but. In fact, it should be viewed as an act of service to those who rely on you, ensuring you’re operating at your best.

Understanding self-care

Initially, I thought it was all about eating well and exercising. But as I dug deeper, thanks to our trusty friend Google, I discovered it’s so much more. Self-care includes mental, emotional, and social well-being, personal growth, and beyond. It’s about caring for the whole you, not just ticking off a checklist of “good habits.”

When researching “What is self-care?” I found this definition from the National Institute of Mental Health:

Self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical and mental health. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact.

Great advice, but how do we actually live it?

Starting the self-care journey

Over the past two years, I’ve learned to prioritise myself, and it’s been transformational. A favourite quote that resonates with me is:

“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure you’re filling your cup first so that you have something to pour into others.”

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential. A good self-care routine helps you feel balanced, resilient, and equipped to handle life’s ups and downs. It’s different for everyone and evolves with time, so experimentation is key. Give yourself permission to take the time for self-care, it is essential part of looking after yourself, it extends beyond mere indulgence, it truly is a necessity for maintaining a balanced life.

Sounds great, right? But where do we even begin when life already feels so full?

5 key areas of self-care

Here are the areas I’ve explored on my journey, with practical ideas to help you get started:

1. Physical health

When you’re running on fumes, your body feels it. But even small changes can make a big difference.

Simple Steps: Take a 10-minute walk in the fresh air. Swap one processed snack for a piece of fruit. Aim for 30 minutes of movement you enjoy, dancing counts!

2. Mental well-being

Your mind needs care, too. Feeling overwhelmed? Stressed? You’re not alone.

Simple Steps: Try mindfulness apps like Calm or Headspace for guided meditations. Journal your thoughts (stay tuned for my next blog where we will go into depth with some great journaling prompts), just a few sentences a day can help to check in with how you are feeling. Perhaps start with asking Am I taking care of my body and mind? What small actions can I take today to refill my cup?

Or pick up a hobby that sparks joy, like reading, knitting, or gardening, something you truly get immersed in and zone out for 20 minutes.

3. Emotional health

Let yourself feel, like, really feel. Bottling up emotions only leads to burnout.

Simple Steps: Give yourself permission to say no to things that drain you. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist. Practice gratitude by writing down three things you’re thankful for each day.

4. Social connections

It’s not about having a million friends, it’s about having the right ones.

Simple Steps: Call someone who makes you laugh. Schedule a coffee date with a friend who lifts you up, or even better a regular walk and talk catchup. Set boundaries with relationships that feel one-sided.

5. Personal growth

Remember the things you used to dream about? It’s time to revisit them.

Simple Steps: Take 15 minutes to learn something new, an online class, a podcast, or even a new recipe. Try journaling to reconnect with your passions and goals.

Making self-care work in real life

Life doesn’t always make room for self-care, so you have to carve it out. Here’s how to start:

1. Start Small: Pick one area to focus on, like walking for 10 minutes daily or drinking more water. Don’t beat yourself up if you waiver a little, just start again.

2. Set Realistic Goals: Forget perfection, progress is what counts.

3. Be Flexible: Some days, life happens, and that’s okay. Adjust as needed and try again tomorrow

Why this matters

When you prioritise yourself, you’re not just taking care of you, you’re setting an example for everyone around you. Whether it’s your children, your partner, or your friends, they’ll see that taking care of yourself is a strength, not a weakness. When we nurture ourselves, we’re not only enhancing our life but also ensuring we can continue showing up for others in the ways that matter most. People will actually respect you more and you will be surprised to see people responding to you more positively.

Let’s do this together

Self-care is a journey, not a destination. It evolves as you do. Start small, be kind to yourself, and trust that every little step you take is worth it.

Remember: You matter. Your health, happiness, and well-being are worth the effort.